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Middle​-​Aged Man in a Hot Tub

by The Chris Waffle Explosion

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about

Here it is. Your song of the summer.
Just a little something I threw together while I wait for Breonna Taylor's murderers (Jonathan Mattingly, Brett Hankinson and Myles Cosgrove) to be arrested.

lyrics

(Sung)
Never thought I’d live to see this day
Never thought my hair would have some grey
I’m starting to slow down but it’s all okay
You know where I’ll be-

Aint going out to the clubs no more
Don’t have the funds to make it rain no more
But when my lower back muscles get sore
You know where I’ll be - In the Hot Tub
I’m a middle aged man in a hot tub
Used to be full of energy but now I’m not, son
Used to be able to party all night
But now I just wanna soak with some jets just right
Time hasn’t been kind so I find when I’m ready to unwind
I got the Hot Tub on my mind
I’ve checked the chlorine and water alkalinity
Now I’m off to experience serenity
I like to feel like I’m drifting on the seven seas
But if those seas were a nice one hundred four degrees
No need to worry about sharks or sea anemones
This Hot Tub is reserved for the VIPs
Sometimes I find my kids are in the Hot Tub
And I tell them get the hell out of the Hot Tub
It’s not a toy and it’s not for getting creepy
It’s for me after work when I want to get wet and sleepy

I’m a middle aged man in a hot tub
Just a middle aged man in a hot tub
You think I got cares? Well, I got none
H-O-T-T-U-B HOT TUB
I’m a middle aged man in a hot tub
Just a middle aged man in a hot tub
Warm water and bubbles? Yeah, I got some
H-O-T-T-U-B HOT TUB
Rub a dub dub one man in a tub (x4)
Hot tub, you know I’m getting in it
Hot tub, relaxation? I win it
Hot Tub, fingers and toes all shriveled
I might be thinking about getting out in a little-
NOPE, guess what, I’m staying IN
Don’t even try to ask me where I’ve been
You know where I’ve been? In the Hot Tub, stupid
But don’t feel bad or like you’ve been excluded
I don’t let anyone else in it either
Even if you’ve already been pre-screened for a fever
Plus I can’t hear you with these jets on high
Also I’m high and just staring up at the sky
Yeah? The electric bill got higher
But this hot tub is straight up fire
It's the 3-way that I've been dreaming of
Me, hot water and this big ass TUB
I’m a middle aged man in a hot tub
Just a middle aged man in a hot tub
You think I got cares? Well, I got none
H-O-T-T-U-B HOT TUB
I’m a middle aged man in a hot tub
Just a middle aged man in a hot tub
Warm water and bubbles? Yeah, I got some
H-O-T-T-U-B HOT TUB
Format Lyrics

credits

released August 4, 2020
Music by Bill Beats
www.beatstars.com

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all rights reserved

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The Chris Waffle Explosion Canby, Oregon

What happens when nerd rock musician, Chris Waffle, and Canby City Councilor, Sarah Spoon, join forces to create music influenced by their love of pop culture and passion for social justice? The answer is The Chris Waffle Explosion. Formed during the pandemic shutdown of 2020, their isolation led to creation. Now they're ready to bring their comedy/nerdcore rap to the masses. ... more

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